Updated: Oct 14, 2019
Suicide is the is the 2nd leading cause of death among college students and more 15 - 24 year olds died of suicide (9.9%) than of cancer (5.8%) according to the Centers for Disease Control. The difference is that suicide can be prevented.
The two most important things that we can do as parents and as a community are to:
1. Learn risk factors and what to look for.
2. Be that person - the one who is paying attention and cares becomes a literal lifeline.
My personal story, "When Teens Want to Die" is an illustration of how it only takes one person to save a life. But this age group are dealing with number of biological and sociological issues that can make them much more challenging to protect. Understanding gender differences, what to watch for, and risk factors, gives us the ability to be 'that person' - the one who is paying attention and can save a life!
Gender Differences and Precautions
Males more commonly use a firearm to commit suicide.
Keep firearms out of the house or at least in secure lock-down off premises
Females commonly use a form of poison.
Keep all pills under lock and key. Dispose of potentially lethal chemicals
Install a carbon monoxide detector in your garage
Although males complete suicide at much higher rates, females are more likely to have thoughts of suicide than males.
Parents hang on to your sons
An important part of the transition to adulthood is creating autonomy by pulling away and pushing back. But it also makes it far more difficult to know what's going on with them. Parents of teenage boys know how quiet and/or sullen they can get or complain that they barely see them because they stay in their rooms. They become highly skilled at one word answers and because society continues to teach young men to be tough or cool, they become adept at stuffing or has compartmentalizing their feelings. It adds up to making it especially challenging to know when a boy is in a dark place. But it's of the highest importance because males commit nearly 80% of all suicides.
Males take their lives almost 4x the rate females do - committing approximately 77.9% of all suicides.
When struggling, most teens create a self-imposed isolation, act out or exhibit other changes that may be subtle. That's why knowing if s/he's at risk, and knowing what to look for, is all the more important.
What to Watch For
Sleeping too little or too much - as compared to their norm
Displaying extreme mood swings - as compared to norm
Becoming violent or threaten violence
Running away or threats to run away
Giving away personal belongings
Making references to death on social media
Any mention of committing suicide are a call to immediately comfort them and seek immediate mental health evaluation.
Teens don't always exhibit changes and mood swings can be a normal part of the teenage brain which has been shown to be more reactive and impulsive. Also because traumatic events are random the teen may be fine one morning and planning suicide later that day. . as in my case, "When Teens Want to Die," I wasn't exhibiting any of the things on that list. One morning I was happy to be alive and by that evening, I desperately wanted to find a way to die. I thought there was something wrong with me and had no idea that I was just a walking risk-factor.
I thought there was something wrong with me... I didn't know that I was a walking risk-factor.
Teen Suicide Risk Factors
Of 17 listed risk-factors, those at the top of my list are:
1. Child abuse or neglect
2. Sexual abuse
3. Domestic violence
5. Low Self-esteem/self-worth
6. Family history of generational trauma or suicide
7. A recent or serious loss:
death of a family member, friend or a pet
parental separation or a divorce
breakup with a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
8. Lack of security:
a parent losing a job
or the family losing their home.
9. A psychiatric disorder:
10. Prior suicide attempts:
increase the risk for another suicide attempt.
Inebriation increases risk-taking behaviors and violence.
12. Disciplinary issues and risk-taking behaviors:
getting into a lot of trouble is often a cry for help.
in an environment that is not respectful or accepting of them.
14. Lack of social support:
When all alone in the world, suicide is often seen as the only way out.
15. Stigma associated with asking for help.
15. Cultural and religious beliefs that asking for help or weak or even that suicide is a noble solution.
17. Barriers to accessing services: lack of reliable transportation, lack of child-care, no access to bilingual providers and cost of services.
Kids need to know that they can come to you no matter what but sometimes they just want privacy. It wouldn't hurt to have the talk to make sure they know they can come to you with anything but a part of that talk could include making sure their children and teens have this number, too. Because teens may more often open to texting over talking, many are finding help and relief using this texting service to deal with their issues. Kids can text about anything, it's FREE, anonymous and available 24/7.
Give kids and teens this number: The Crisistextline: Text HOME to 741741
These are the most common issues kids text about: For more info, go to: https://www.crisistextline.org/
The next post will cover Preventing Suicide in younger children. To learn more opt-in for updates.
Sources: Adapted from the Centers for Disease Control, Wikipedia, ChildMind Institute