When Teens Want to Die

Updated: Oct 14, 2019

Suicide among teens has been described as a plague or "the new black death" because it is the second biggest killer of 15–29-year-olds in the world today. Officially, over 160,000 people under the age of 25 will kill themselves this year - that's over 50 times more than died in the September 11 terrorist attacks.

My personal mission is a passion to help these 'at-risk kids' because I was one of them. Suicidal 3 times by the age of 20...

I was 16 the 2nd time that I wanted to die. There was no warning that this day wouldn't be just like any routine weekday. I got home from school, fed my sister, took her to work with me, got home, got her ready for bed and turned on the TV at 10 p.m.. Rinse and repeat Monday through Friday. As usual, my stepfather came home drunk which was normal but it wasn't normal for him to be home this early. This wasn't a problem because he would usually just be staggering and silly so I would play along or humor him. But wasn't in his usual silly state. He stumbled past me into the bathroom.

The next thing I knew he came flying out of the door holding a wet towel and roaring at me that he had found it on the floor. I tried to explain that while I was putting my sister to bed that my older brother had come home for a quick shower before going back out. He wouldn't hear it. I begged him to understand that I hadn't gone back in the bathroom or I would surely have picked it up. He screamed, "No excuses," and began to beat me, throw me to the ground with his workboots, brutally kick me repeatedly.

My mother came in the midst of the beating and screaming. I begged her for help with my eyes and words. But nothing. I should have known better because she was responsible for abuse far worse than what was happening at the moment. But somehow I thought maybe...but no, she watched. After it was all over, they went to bed like nothing happened. I could barely move so I ran a tub of hot water.