Updated: Oct 26, 2019
Our 'story' is as in "once upon a time," but and when living inside of the story, we are blinded to the ways that we perpetuate our personal pain in our relationships with others. Releasing the story's hold and conditioned patterns is key to healing ourselves, our families, communities and ripples out. It's amazing to witness the beauty of this healing.
Thirty years ago when it was clear that my alcoholic stepfather wouldn't make it to old age, it occurred to me that our mother would likely need care one day. I announced to my little sister, "Don't look at me; I'm afraid I'll commit elder abuse." I was serious. There was no way that I could entertain the prospect of caring for my abuser.
Adventures in Alzheimers
Our mother had always been the most high strung person that I'd ever known but mental health stigma kept her from seeking help. So like many, her coping mechanisms were rage or numbing with alcohol or both.
More than 20 years after my "Don't look at me" pronouncement, the Universe, as it often does, had other plans. In 2012 our mother was diagnosed with Wernike Korsakoff's Alzheimers (alcoholic dementia). She was 78, all alone, in another state and unable to care for herself. As the family member with a medical background and our mom's POA, I found myself squarely in driver's seat of her care. It seemed ironic at the time and I initially cared for her from a sense of responsibility.
A miraculous amount of healing has taken place as a result! Although my mother's body remains tense because 'the body remembers,' her true essence has finally shone through because she has literally forgotten her story. The narcissistic, stingy, abusive and neglectful woman (ALL traumatic defenses) is finally free to be her true self. And her true self is none of those traumatic defense patterns and coping mechanisms!
It has been a joy and blessing to meet my mother for the first time - without her story! All she wants to do is to hug and kiss everyone; she wants to dance and laugh and "carry on" as she likes to say. I had only seen her this free a few times, in the early stages of drunkenness before things got ugly. Seeing her actually living in this state and in the present moment is astonishingly beautiful! It's a shame that it took Alzheimer's to create this amazing change. So who would you be if you forgot your story?
Releasing your story can create healing that ripples out. When my mom forgot her story and I met her for the first time, my story shifted from bitterness to compassion. It not only changed her but it allowed me to get past my story about her and me! The past was no longer defining me. I was no longer destined to die a bitter woman.
Releasing your story isn't about losing a part of yourself; it's claiming your true essence and worth as a human being before the world got its hands on you.
Questions to ponder
Who were you before the world told you who you are?
Who would you be if you forgot your story?
What would it be like to totally forget all that you've come to believe about your background, your self-worth, your abilities or appearance?
What self-limiting beliefs would disappear?
What does your spirit say and what does your heart know about your true identity?
You don't have to wait for old age to release your story's hold on your self-identity. You can begin to free and recover yourself now. Learn how story as self-identity locks us in the past, robs us of the ability to move forward and blocks the ability to manifest intentions in this video. youtu.be/hiXFg8BMdXM
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